My Lens

There have been several moments in my life where I become fully aware of the present and ponder on how I will feel and who I will be at a later date. For instance, at the beginning of my senior year of high school I envisioned who I would be a graduation and the experiences I would have. I'm often never right but those moments of complete awareness provide markers to my life that almost give me time to self evaluate.

It's scary to think that so much about you will someday change. Our lives aren't static, we're constantly changing as we are exposed to the world and its intricacies. And somehow, even though each human life is unique, we can find common ground and learn to sympathize.

We spend our lives becoming. Becoming famous. Becoming quiet. Becoming old. Becoming sentimental. Becoming better. Whatever we become, it is new and altering to our insides, to the spirit that makes us who we are.

I've always been taught that without opposites we can't live fulfilling lives. Without pain we cannot know joy. Without disaster we can't know calm. And that is what makes the future AND the past so vital. We don't see what we've become until we see where we've been.

Looking back, I don't ever want to go back to the person I was; but looking to the future, I know I will be so much better. And that's why we constantly have to be reevaluating and improving. After all, that is our purpose here in this mortal frame.

Much love always

-M

Remembering Lens

So this week was rough. Not in the "I just back-packed across the Grand Canyon" kind of way, but more in a "what the heck just happened" kind of way. I've mentally exhausted (and a little physically exhausted as well). Finals and four extra shifts at work can drain a person. I found it really hard to be positive, until I read my last post and reminded myself that no matter how bad life seems sometimes, it gets better and there are still good things despite the bad.

For instance, my friend K let me take her to a local cemetery this week to see the grave of her dear friend. It gave me the chance to remember my grandpa and all the good memories I have of him. It also reminded me how short and fragile life is.

I was also reminded of how important friends are. My friends really helped carry me through the week when I got really down or worried. They lifted me and reminded me how to have a little fun.

I was reminded how good God is and how much he really looks out for us whether we are happy, sad, or all the range of emotions in between.

Lastly, I was reminded of how lucky I am to have a car that actually works. That thing got me everywhere this week without dying or running out of gas. Talk about a blessing.

I hope you all continue to see the blessings even when it is really hard. Keep moving always!

-M

Positive Lens

I haven't posted in forever! With finals, moving, a new semester and preparation for my excursion to China, I've been extremely busy. But here I finally have a moment to try to shed some positivity on my recent life.

First of all, I'm surviving spring term. Spring term basically squeezes a regular 15 week semester into 7 weeks. I'm taking it to finish my last pre-requisites before I apply to my program. And as of right now, I'm not failing either of my classes! Success.

On top of managing my classes, I'm preparing for a trip to China. I'm going with my former program director to do a similar program as I did in Taiwan two years ago (I still can't believe that was two years ago). I am super excited to get to serve the people there and see the world from a different perspective. More will come on my experience there after I return.

I am another year older!

One of my dearest friends is leaving to serve an LDS mission next week. I'm gonna miss him a lot, but I am proud of his choice to set aside two years of his life to serve others in Brazil.

Things don't always go how we want them to, but I know that if we just keep pressing forward things will work out. They have a funny way of always doing so. Keep strong my friends. Look for the good in life.

-M

Good Vibes Lens

So this week I've decided I'm grateful for two things: humor and the Spirit. Random, yes. But that's not the point. Story time!

First, humor. Monday was April Fools day as many of you know and this year I actually did something! I pulled off the ultimate fake engagement prank on Facebook with my friend D. Who knew so many people could be so easily fooled ;) Prank aside, I got a heavy dose of laughter that day that I had not had in a long time. It felt so good! Laughter truly makes you feel so good, and since I've been so stressed this foreign laughter made my day.

Second, the Spirit. For those who don't know what the Spirit is, in the LDS church we believe that we can be comforted and taught by God's spirit. Some people think of it kind of like your conscience. So this week was my church's annual General Conference where our church leaders teach us about things they've felt inspired to share. I loved it a lot. I was so comforted and edified by the words of these dear servants from the Lord. They have a way of saying exactly what you need to hear. I would elaborate more but I don't think anyone has the energy to hear a long explanation on my thoughts about the 8 hours of sessions I watched. So suffice it to say, it was awesome and you should all watch it. 

Finals are coming up so I can't say if I'll write much more for a while. But keep looking for good everywhere. If you seek for it, it can be found.

Much love,
M

New Lens

I think I'm starting to repeat titles alot. Oh well. So I know I haven't written this month much, but I don't think I could have if I wanted to. The last month or so it was really hard to see the light in each day. I know good things surrounded me, but it was hard to see them when I was so focused on the stresses of life.

Today I want to point out the goodness of sunlight. Provo finally has been graced with relatively good weather and sunshine! It seems like an insignificant thing, but it is crazy how much a little good weather can change the morale of an apartment complex. Suddenly people want to do all the outside activities, work on homework on the lawn, and even sleep in the sunshine (I'm guilty of two of the three). It's such a simple pleasure, but one I am currently very thankful. 

I'm also thankful that I can get a college education. I'm pretty sure I complain to my roommate every single day about how busy I am, but deep down I know this busyness means I'm learning a lot, and for that I am grateful. To do wonderful things someday I know I need to make the most out of this opportunity.

This will be a short post, but I just wanted to encourage everyone to not fall in a slump like I did. Look for the good in EVERYTHING. I know if say this enough one day I'll actually believe and follow it so just bear with me. Good vibes everyone.

Much love always,

-M

Life Lessons Lens

Life can be hell. Lets face it. But those lows are the reason we can experience the highs. Life wasn't meant to be easy. We have to have experiences to make us strong and to learn to appreciate what we have.

Today I said goodbye to one of my grandfathers. It seems like you'd want to spend the last few days of someone's life recounting good memories, but that was just too hard. All I could manage was a final "I love you" that probably seemed so empty. But the beauty of the matter is that, no matter how unintelligible my words were, my grandpa still recognized that I was there and that I cared. And when it really comes down to it, that's what we all really want to know in life; that we are loved and supported no matter what. We don't need to give or be shown elaborate displays of affection. All we need is the knowledge that people care.

Today I also learned the necessity of normalcy and good humor. During my visit with my family I could have just sat there and cried for two hours; Or I could have inquired into the lives of my other relatives and joked with them about whatever. I chose the latter. Because it is easier to focus on the positive then dwell on the negative.

Lastly, I was reminded of how frail we are. We can try and be as strong as we want, but none of us are immune to trials and death. We need to just trust in God's timetable and make the most of every moment we have.

So love everyone. Remember those who have gone ahead and those who surround you in the present. Much love always.

-M

Failure Lens

As I recently noted on one of my social media sites, I feel like college has taught me that I have a great capacity to fail. This seems really morbid at first glance, but isn't necessarily intended to be that way. Realizing that I have a great capacity to fail is significant because I'm learning my outer bounds. I feel like failure is often one of the ways God directs us to the paths we need to be on. By all means, I'm not saying to give up if you fail. But keep in mind what your limitations are, and whether or not they are worth overcoming. Sometimes the better option may be to work around them and learn from your mistakes.

Along those lines, failure has taught me to focus on learning rather than reaching success markers. It's kinda the whole "find joy in the journey" concept that you need to try to learn and grow as a person and not focus on "making the grade" or climbing the success ladder of business. For instance, this semester at college has been the worst grades I've ever earned thus far in my school experience, but I feel like I've learned so much. I've learned how to look outside myself at a situation, how to memorize, and how to time manage (or how NOT to).

Failure is also a reminder that I am human. I have weaknesses. I am imperfect. I have lots of room to improve. And when I remember this I can be humble enough to take criticism and make necessary improvements. 

Its never too late to become better. Just remember that we are given trials and failures to remind us to constantly be improving. Much love.

-M